It's a mixture of beauty, awe, mess and trepidation. If am being honest, it doesn't change much from the very first day.
Do not get me wrong, there are a LOT of changes.
I changed nappies and onesies, I changed sleep routines and feed regimes.
I pureed fruit and vegies and froze them in little ice cube trays.
I googled what food my little one should be trying at each month like it was a new religion and I ever so occasionally glanced at the Wonder Weeks when for the life of me I needed a reason why my little one had turned into a screaming little alien.
I pulled up my big girl pants (meaning I got brave!) and stepped into my first mother's group.
I learned how to set boundaries and how to follow through with consequences.
I would have much rather MY mum to come around and do that. I mean, her and my dad did such a great job with me maybe they could just come around and get our child to that point.
The point I am trying to make is you become a mother and things CHANGE.
Sometimes it seems like things are always changing.
But motherhood still remains a mixture of beauty, awe, mess and trepidation.
You know those days, where you feel like you are going to break?
Maybe it is from lack of sleep. I say 'lack of sleep' so easily. It is more than that though, isn't it? The amount of sleep you may not be getting once you are a mum could be used as a form of torture.
It is so hard to function. It makes you snap at your husband, cry at the drop of a hat, feel nauseous and completely disconnected with the world.
Yet, somehow, in that state, we need to carry on and care for our children.
Maybe your child keeps coming home from school angry and behaving violent. You wonder where your little cherub is. You wonder how on earth you are meant to help them move forward from here. You wonder what sort of help is actually needed?
You also realise that YOU are the parent.
You may still feel like you are a teenager yourself, but somehow, here you are being the one your child looks to.
The one they watch and observe and the one deep down they are hoping know how to fix everything.
Maybe your husband works away from home and his absence fills you with a loneliness that impacts your day. You know he is working hard for you and your family but working away adds other pressures you were unaware of.
The possibility is endless of the tricky and trying situations you will find yourself in once you become a mother.
Have you heard people encourage others with a pep talk that ends with, "Mama, you've got this."
They mean, you can do this and you will get through this.
The sentiment is lovely and the encouragement and support is welcomed.
Yet, are there times when you have wanted to scream back and say, "No! Idon'thave this!Idon'tknow what to do next and I most certainly doNOThave this."?
Well, if that is you, you can come over and sit at my table at lunch time. We'll be great friends!
When you do come over and sit next to me, I'm going to whisper to you why I know it is ok that we haven't got this.
Because HE is above ALL things, and in HIM ALL things hold together. ~Colossians 1:17 NIV
The Message version translates it like this:
For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels—everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment. And when it comes to the church (us!), he organizes and holds it together, like a head does a body.
So we don't need to 'have this' all the time.
There is not a moment in your day that He has not got.
He has got this moment that is trying to break you.
He has got this day that is trying to bring you down.
Rest easy, breathe out and know that He has got this.