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How To Respond To Your Friend's Divorce

by Gem (follow)
Gem herhaven.hubgarden.com | faithhaven.hubgarden.com | motherd.com | perthmumsgroup.com.au | mumswrite.com.au | healthyhints.com.au |
divorce (2)      relationships (2)      friendships (2)     
There are topics I love writing about.

I love writing about heart-stirring faith or anything that encourages others to live passionately worshiping Jesus.

I have loved writing about love, family and relationships.  The warm and fuzzy side of them. I even like writing the trickier ones about ways to work on the hard bits you come across in relationships.  It is always with the encouragement and hope that, as we follow Jesus, we will overcome any of these hard bits.

Do you know what topic doesn't sound exciting to talk about?  In fact, I have been shying away from it for a couple of months now.

It is a sensitive topic to write about and I have not wanted to sound judgmental.

It is a topic that I do not feel qualified to write about.


But here I am.  I am going to attempt to write about it.

Do you know why?

Because, in the last nine months, within our circle of friends, five couples have separated and are filing for divorce.


In nine months.

That is ten adults and a total of ten children who are having their lives impacted by divorce.

So, yeah, I think divorce needs to be discussed.

Divorce impacts a life in a pretty big way.

The husband. The wife.  The children.  The extended family.  The friends.  The waves of divorce can reach far and wide.  I think we all know that though, right?

I know there are probably some, but  I would like to think most people do not decide to enter into a divorce for the fun of it.

Do you know what else impacts a life in a pretty big way?

The events happening inside a relationship and home that lead up to divorce. It would be unwise to dismiss the hard issues that must be going on within a family that leave people to believe divorce is the only choice left.  I want to encourage discussion about those things.  If we could wade our way through the really tough things that happen in life, maybe we could get to the other side and have deeper connections and less divorce.

Judging people for choosing divorce impacts people too.

Do not get me wrong - I am ALL for trying to invest in marriages and wanting people to fight and work for their marriage.  No one's  marriage is ever easy.  Every marriage is going to go through tough times and my deepest prayer is people seek God during these times to see how to walk step by step through it. I am not promoting divorce in anyway, but I am encouraging you not to judge people who are choosing divorce.  They have enough going on in their lives without having to deal with judgment too.

The Bible tells us the thief (the devil) comes to kill, steal and destroy. (John 10:10)  

As I look around at my friends at the moment I am seeing so much being killed, stolen and destroyed.

It is for this reason I feel divorce needs to be discussed.  I want there to be conversation about divorce.  Let's open up the topic and start supporting each other, praying for each other and come together in love.  Maybe we can help each other in our marriages to avoid divorce, maybe we can help heal and restore those who have had a divorce and maybe we can simply hold the hand of a dear friend who is walking through divorce at the present time.

Let's not forget the rest of what John 10:10 says,

Jesus came so we could have life and in the fullest measure.

Maybe you are thinking about divorce right now for your own marriage, are going through a divorce or have been divorced.

There is always hope, despite divorce because there is always Jesus, even through divorce.

Have you talked to Jesus lately?  Believe me when I tell you, he is waiting for you to come to him just the way you are.  So there is no need to put it off.

Maybe you are filled with hurt.  Come to him and let his love fill you and heal you.

Maybe you feel ashamed and embarrassed.  Sweet friend, he thinks the world of you and he will wash away any shame or embarrassment you may feel.

Maybe you feel betrayed, maybe even by Jesus.  I can see how that could be possible. Tell him.  Yell at him, and pour your anger out on him.  He can take it. He wants to.  He actually wants to take it all away from you so that the burden is lifted and you can breathe easier again.  So you can feel joy again.

Oh, I hope you can understand through my words just how much Jesus loves you no matter what.

You might also like to read:

They're Getting a Divorce (And What You Can Do Next)

Heart Fatigue

Dear Son (A Letter To My Son As He Starts School)

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